Sparkie's RANT

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I, the splendifferous Sparkie, shall impart wisdom.

10th October 2004
 
I would like to take this oppurtunity to explain why aliens do not wear shoes.
 
Any alien life form highly evolved enough to have accomplished interstellar travel, surely, must have evolved beyond the need for shoes.
Why are shoes neccasarry to us mear humans? Because our feet are feeble and soft. If we were to remove our shoes and embrace Gods green earth with our weak little tootsies, sure it would hurt for a while, but in a few generations we wouldn't need shoes anymore! So I urge you, feeble footed weaklings, to remove your shoes, so that we meay evolve to a higher state and one day, like the aliens, we too may master interstellar trave!
 

" Heather said "Real life sucks losers dry. If you wanna fuck with the eagles, you've gotta learn to fly." I said "So, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly?" She said "Yes." I said "You're beautiful." " - Heathers

How unfortunate...It got away